Thursday, 3 May 2012

Things I'm afraid to tell you via Creature Comforts

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You - via Creature Comforts


I saw this over at Creature Comforts and I HAD to participate. I really try to be honest on this blog, always have. But, I want to do this to remind myself that there really isn't anything worth writing about if it isn't honest. Ez, you're a genius.


And now for my list. Ugh. Here we go.

  • I am a really, really bad eater. Now and then I'll make something amazing and healthy...but we eat takeout a lot. And I'm not talking pretty rolls of sushi. In talking pizza. Sometimes I make Kraft Dinner. Yep. I want so badly to be the wife that makes big awesome meals every night. Maybe I'll get there. Maybe I won't.
  • I'm not even a little bit confident about my art...the fact that I've sold one painting blows my mind. I am trying to get over that because it's hard to market yourself if your always thinking in the back of your head that maybe you're a crap artist after all. But I think that pretty much every day.
  • I worry way too much about money. It's not something that Billy and I have to worry about right now, he has a wonderful job and he's supporting our family entirely. But I worry anyway. Way too much. ALL THE TIME. And it drives him nuts. (Sorry babe...I don't know how you put up with me).
  • Every night I rock and/or nurse Ben to sleep. It's the biggest no-no, I know. He still can't be just left in his crib to fall asleep on his own, and it's all my fault. I didn't know it was a bad thing at first. Guess I should have read some of those baby books after all.
  • Speaking of Ben...I let him watch tv. NO, not constantly, but sometimes I'll have it on for longer than ten minutes. I know, I know, I've read the reports. But sometimes I need to put in a load of laundry, or check my email, or read a magazine. Sorry.
  • I mention having OCD is a jokey way now and then....but I actually think I do. It's never been diagnosed, and it doesn't affect anything serious (I can leave the house, for example, without checking appliances) but some things that I do are a little weird. Billy and I were laughing at this last night, but it's a perfect example. We eat these candies a lot (see, really bad eater) and I always eat all of the lemon ones first, followed by grape, then cherry....last ones are always strawberry because they're my favourite. I would be seriously, seriously bummed out if the last one I ate was strawberry. Ya. Seriously, someone call my doctor.
  • I can be really, really moody. Lucky for whoever reads this blog I tend to write when I'm in a decent mood. But just ask my husband, or my Mom. I can be awful. I don't know how everyone doesn't hate me sometimes. One day I may very well end up alone because everyone's sick of me.
  • My basement is a DISASTER. Like it's piled with boxes and bags of crap. PILED. It's the equivalent of Monica's closet on Friends.
  • I can't ever make a decision. When faced with any sort of choice, I have to refer to Billy, my Mom, my Dad, my girlfriends, get everyone's opinion, write a pro-con list, and THEN I decide. Followed by months of second-guessing my decision. 


More will come to me, I'm sure I could write a list a mile long of these. But this is a good start. Maybe this will make me a little bit more accountable to my goal of becoming a better person. Or maybe this is just me. AH. I'm really not awesome.


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6 comments:

  1. you are awesome.
    i am ocd, as you described and moody, too, unfortunately.
    thanks so much for being real here, so admirable!

    xo

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  2. Oh, I hear you on the mommy guilt! Guess who still lies down beside her 3year old sometimes to help get her to sleep? That would be me. I figure she'll outgrow wanting me there soon enough so I enjoy it.

    I appreciate your being so honest. We all have those quirks. Seriously, I think EVERYONE is a little bit OCD - and yes, you are AWESOME :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mommy guilt seems to be the worst, and the most common! Ugh! Well I think you and I are very alike as Moms....I will totally do that too. I mean, why not? Why is it SO bad???

      You are awesome too :)

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  3. Yes, Jen is right. You are awesome. I went through a crazy phase of being a total freak show b*#&! when I lived in Los Angeles. I was rude. I was entitled. I was miserable.

    Seriously...I was hideous. I got BANNED from the dry cleaners. Who gets banned from the dry cleaners?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha, aw, so we're all a little crazy together ;)

      Delete
  4. I can be really moody too. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one! For me the problem lies in the fact that the littlest things will make me moody. Like if my brother leaves out my water bottle when it's supposed to be in the fridge. It sounds like the littlest thing but it drives me mad!

    ReplyDelete

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